


Goatmama !

by Comedy 111-1111 (CrossTheCrossedPerson)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aberforth Dumbledore's Goats, Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Albus Dumbledore Being an Idiot, Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack and Angst, Dark, Dark Comedy, Dark Crack, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Gen, Goats, Horcruxes, M/M, Minor Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald, Misguided Albus Dumbledore, Psychotropic Drugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:01:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29496948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrossTheCrossedPerson/pseuds/Comedy%20111-1111
Summary: This is the heroic story of Aberforth saving the world, all in hopes of finding a better goat mommy. (A story wrote by Comedy ! )I heavily recommend you not to read "book" as this "book" simply gets worse in several different ways. - KamukuraDon ' t listen to Kamukura ! It only gets better ! - Comedy
Relationships: Aberforth Dumbledore & Albus Dumbledore, Aberforth Dumbledore/Albus Dumbledore, Aberforth Dumbledore/Goat, Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	Goatmama !

  
Aberforth liked goats. Goats are great, what’s not to like about them? They ate trash, weren’t too loud, and were nice little creatures. Maybe too nice. Aberforth really liked goats. With the long white beards, the intelligent blue eyes, and noises he could hardly comprehend. That was why when Albus Dumbledore, his former Brother, showed up Aberforth confused him with a goat. 

  
“Haha goat mama lemmie suck tittie,” Aberforth said while touching the goaty beard. 

  
“Goat mama?” Albus wondered as Aberforth slapped his beard around, “I believe you have me confused.” 

  
“You haven’t been eating my cum socks lately,” Aberforth complained. 

  
“What.”

  
“Eat my socks,” Aberforth said as he looked the goat in the goat eyes. 

  
“Why would I do that?” Albus asked, gently removing his beard from Aberforth’s hands. 

  
“You like my cum socks,” Aberforth insisted ashe drank brewed beer by the galleons. 

  
“Are you okay?” Ablus shook his head firmly, “I think you should go to mental hospital.”

  
“Eat my socks,” Aberforth repeated. 

  
“Not this again,” Albus sighed, looking around the dimly lit pub, “We can’t do this anymore, I’ve told you time and time again I won’t do that again.” 

  
“You wanted them for Christmas,” Aberforth said. 

  
“No u,” Albus retorted, ignoring old gross manipulative old coot blush rising to his cheeks.

  
Aberforth broke beer bottle on bar and threw himself as Albus, foaming at the mouth, “HOW DARE!!:!!??!!?!!!”

  
“I DARE!” Albus shrieked as he stumbled away from Aberforth, only to get his horcrux slashed by Aberforth. The two watched as Albus Dumbledore’s horcrux, his beard, was swiped from him, falling to the bar floor. Aberforth slowly looked to Albus, pursing his lips. They stared at one another, Aberforth stiffly holding the beer bottle. Albus screamed and fell to the ground sobbing out of pain. Aberforth slowly reached down, ignoring his suffering brother, and picked up the former horcrux that was the beard. Aberforth wrapped it around his neck like a stylish fox tail and frog jumped back behind his bar. 

  
“Lol fuck u,” Aberforth said, as he grabbed around beer, “Eat pant.” 

  
Albus cried harder on the floor. 

  
“Your gae boyfriend is gae and I don’t like him,” Aberforth went on, “he’s stinky and doesn’t like my goat.” 

  
“He twice the man you are,” Albus said from the floor, not bothering to get up. 

  
“Only twice? That’s sad,” Aberforth remarked, “I mean, most ppl are at least ten times the person as me. I literally fuck goats and you ate my cum socks.” 

  
“Did not,” Albus denied. 

  
“I kno you did I remember the night,” Aberforth shook his head, staring off into the distance, “I remember it all,,,” 

  
“Ew tf,” Albus teleported off the floor and back on the barstool, still having a naked face, “I hate you *anger face*”

  
“Suck my toes,” Aberforth replied as he petted Albus’s former beard. 

  
“I did,” Albus replied. 

  
“What, when?” Aberforth asked. 

  
“None yo business,” Albus responded.

  
“I think that’s all my business if they were my toes,” Aberforth crossed his arms, “I’m bout to kick yo out meh bar.” 

  
“Why tf would i wnat to stay in cho bar it suxks here,” Albus puffed, standing up and flipping Aberforth off, “go die1!11!!” 

  
Aberfoth’s goat mommy left, he started sobbing. Why were goats getting harder and harder to seduce? Was he getting ugly to the goats? Was that even possible???? Either way, Aberforth was depressed now. 

  
Welp, time to shoot up more heroin in the back room. If goat mama was being mean he needed a new one. A plan was needed. One involviny elis D. elisD always helped. Makes happiness. 

**Author's Note:**

> ahahahahahhahahHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHh - Comedy


End file.
